We Used To Dig Each Other

It's official, I think.

It's official that the urge to Facebook is subsiding. I won't lie, I'd like to tell the Facebook world of the compliments my work received at the SWANA convention, or how the bosses like all three Open House postcards so much they had a hard time deciding. But who would have commented on that status update? My husband for sure. My best friends. That's it.

It makes me wonder if all the times we post to Facebook subconsciously (or consciously) looking for recognition that isn't given results in a feeling of failure or low esteem for the accomplishment we posted about.

I used to dig Facebook. I used to love everything little thing about it. I used to revolve around checking frequently so i wouldn't miss anything.

After these 40 days (and nights), will i go back to Facebook? Yes. But will I view and use it differently than I have in the past? I believe so.

Facebook used to love my frequent encounters with it. Sorry Facebook, I'm beginning to view you differently.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Not What It's Cracked Up To Be; But It's Still A Lure

The lesson learned thus far is this: Facebook definitely is NOT what it's cracked up to be.

Facebook is a mind-numbing, time-wasting, clean and simple platform for communicating with friends and "stalking" friends from the past. The longer I go without Facebook, the more news I'm reading. The more effective I am with time management, and the less connected I am to people who probably haven't thought of me since high school (if they even thought of me then!).

So after my revelations, how do I feel about not logging into Facebook? Anxiety!

Even though I admit that Facebook is quite pro-procrastination, I still fight urges to log on and breeze through the newsfeed.

I quit smoking in 2008 after smoking for nearly 3 years (I know it's not that long, but quitting any habit is difficult even if it was a habit for only a short period). And I don't recall the temptation to inhale smoke as strong as the temptation to Facebook my friends and "friends".

So even though Facebook shouldn't be a majority of my day, like it used to be, there is still a lure to it. It's that shiny object, pretty boy (or girl) walking by, or car wreck that you just can't turn your eyes from.

i'm in denial...I'm In Denial...I'M IN DENIAL

Monday and Tuesday why have you done this to me? Why have you presented me with so much ammunition for my Facebook page? I have SO MUCH to declare to the WORLD (of Facebook)! Look at you all over the media: TV, magazines, the radio, the BUS! THE BUS! A time I can enjoy solitude was ruined by "Like Us".

*Sigh*

Is it over yet? Is the 40 days over yet? I thought I was doing well. I've been in denial.

I'm sitting here. It's Wednesday. I have a lot to say. But I have no outlet like I have found in Facebook. It's dark out, rainy, chilly, and I crave the warmth of "Friends'" comments.

I'm bitter, frustrated, annoyed, angered. Is this the next step? The next stage in getting over Facebook? Or is it just coincidence I'm frustrated with certain people during my time away from Facebook?

Only time will tell.

A World Without Facebook... for a weekend.

Just like everyone says on a cold, Monday morning: the weekend went by too fast.

But I somehow managed to survive the weekend without one single thought about Facebook! Our separation has gone from wants and desires of clicking that infamous icon to "I can do this life without you!"

I kept myself busy. And I will refer back to my previous post about comparing giving up Facebook as a relationship breakup: It seems when people break up, they make every effort they can (or their friends can) to distract from missing someone. In my case, something. Although I kept myself very busy, I deny this had anything to do with avoiding temptation to log into Facebook.

My weekend was well spent meeting with the Twirling Troupe's director to go over plans for the next few weeks, shopping with the sister-in-law, practicing the twirling and grading desktop publishing assignments.

I can happily tell you Facebook did not haunt me everywhere I went. It did not haunt me anywhere I went.

I spent my weekend in a world where Facebook didn't exist; I spent it in a world with people closest to my heart. My Facebook App sat neatly on my dashboard with a dwindling shimmer and awe.

Fun Day Friday

Last Friday, being Facebookless was OK. It was a busy day at work, had a lot on my mind, so it flew by pretty quickly.

That evening, my husband and I decided last minute to attend the Pittsburgh Power's (arena football) inaugural game. That tidbit of information I WOULD NOT have felt the desire to post on my Wall. What's amusing is that my husband, who also made the committment to pretend Facebook doesn't exist for this Lenten season, made his first reference to missing Facebook. He was so excited that I searched for and found him tickets that he wanted to shout out to the world (of Facebook) that he would see the Pittsburgh Power play just a few rows from the field.

Would announcing to the world about the game matter? No. Would I have? Probably... because I wanted to share how in love and happy my husband and I are, with the Pittsburgh Power tickets as an example. It would be an example of yet another sacrifice one of us makes for the other to keep each other happy.

Did I enjoy the game at least? Just go check out my Facebook page...





Just kidding!



(After my cynicism, yes I did enjoy the game)

Smooth Sailing on Day 2

Maybe it was because I was super busy at work. Maybe it was because I realized I've gone 1 week without Facebook before (Jamaican Honeymoon last June, you wouldn't have been on Facebook either!). Maybe it was because Facebook's novelty is just wearing off for me.

Ok, it may have been smooth sailing but I think I thought about Facebook more than my dogs and husband (sorry!). Like I mentioned above, I avoided Facebook while I was in Jamaica. Though I don't think that counts. C'mon. It was Jamaica. It was my honeymoon. Definitely didn't care about Facebook.

Yesterday felt like Facebook and I broke up. I think we've all been in a relationship where you could sense and end was coming. The words, "I think we should see other people," are held off until the very last bearable moment. Even though you saw the breakup coming, the days that follow you still find yourself thinking about the now-ex. You still find yourself wanting to pick up the phone and call or text. There's a feeling that keeps pulling at your heart strings that makes you long to just have some sort of contact with the person.

But you fight through it. Little by little it starts getting easier.  "A Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans pops into my head.

I know in 30-something days I will see Facebook again. I am longing for it's "Top News" and "Recent News," it's mobile uploading, it's link posting, it's feeling of belonging.

Facebook we will meet again. I miss you. I am not the changed person I hoped to become... yet.

But then I ponder: Will Facebook's absence in my life for 40 days change me? Or will I pick up right where I left off?

Day 1 is Over!

Breathe a sigh of relief, I made it through my first day without Facebook.

Let's review the day:

• I woke up, fed the dogs,  got ready for work and read USA Today rather than clicking on Facebook from my Android phone. My husband comes in from walking the dogs and shouts "Get off Facebook!" "I'm NOT!!! See! USA Today! At least it's a similar color scheme," I said as I shove my phone in his face as he tried to get the leash of Buddy. Don't ask where Lucy was. Probably sneaking a peek a Facebook... just kidding.
• My daily routine at work changed: I log on to my computer, check my work e-mail (e-mail of which I refuse to have sent directly to my phone), and checked on my students for the online class I teach. So I logged into Blackboard INSTEAD of Facebook. 

So far so good. Me 2. Facebook 0.

• My work day made it tough to stay off Facebook:
• As I worked on our Tradeshow display, my supervisor make a comment about bullet points, "Happiness is a bullet point." Oh how I wanted to post this as a status update! The temptation! I'm still unsure as to how I fought through this one. But I did.
• My coworker/friend and I headed to the pastry shop in our office building to get our daily breakfast snack. After opting for the asiago cheese bagel and chatting about the usual small talk, we went back to the office. "I read this morning about a group in California wanting an R rating on Rango, that new Pixar movie," I said. I explained to him about the notion of putting R ratings on movies containing excessive smoking. "I bet I would get a lot of comments to the article link if I posted it on Facebook." Fudge! No Facebook!
• A little later, I was talking to our Executive Assistant about the online class I'm teaching. During the conversation, I kept referring to BlackBoard and BlackBook. You can tell where my mind was... Facebook.
• Going back to the Tradeshow display, every time I saved my document I wanted to reach for my phone while it took 5 minutes to save.
• Then the last one, the kicker: I realized yesterday I use Facebook to relieve stress or frustration. It helps me clear my head just as running does, or smoking did before I quit. By shifting the focus, I'm able to calm down and get back to work with a clearer mind. 

I'm on Day 2 now working on breaking the habit. The worst part so far is the built-in app for Facebook on my Ally. And no matter how many forums I read, there just doesn't seem to be a solution. Time to put my newspaper apps and blogging apps on the main screen just to avoid the shimmering blue and stark white symbol that links to my ultimate sacrifice.